Written: 2000, PK
There is a house with a golden lock, where morning has not shine since long. This is my house, The housekeeper that lives in this house , passes his time mostly in the two balconies. He passes his time waiting for the Master of the house, waiting for the one who can give him some light , so that he could be able to see , what he dared not to see before.
Long since his childhood, he was told that this house belongs to a Master who bought him when he was very young and put him in this house. He was allowed to play only inside the house ( for he was not allowed to leave the house, the voices outside the house made him fearfull that if u go outside the house, u will go to hell directly). The only play he used to have was to open the new rooms in this house, every day, clean them , see what's inside them and whenever he gets tired , the two balconies were his favourite hideouts, he used to go to these
balconies , to wonder the outside world. He longed for the understanding and for the master to come to master him.
Time passed and the housekeeper became a young boy, still longing for understanding, still waiting for the master who has never came. Most of the rooms in his house were open by then, and to some extent he understood the passages inside the house as well, but still there was a longing, still there was some thing missing. His time passing in the two balconies became more day by day, seeing the mountain and the moon, but it was all dark. Though he experienced some sparks in the utter night, some rays of light that flashed from no where and then disappeared, making him more sad then ever, perhaps these sparks were his own illusions, his own imagination playing games on him. He was more confused then ever. the two balconies became a haunted place instead of soothing him. He often thought of quitting the house, just a step outside the door and disappear.... but perhaps he was still not
convicted of all understanding . He even let go of the idea of the master of the house, who will come and give him the meaning of his life, telling him about his purpose. He decided one day that he will quit this house when he will be 30, if everything remains the same.
One day the housekeeper was passing inside his house. He came to notice that there is a room which is still locked. A strange name was hanging on the room with a warning . It said.
Heart.
"The housekeeper cannot enter. ONLY FOR THE MASTER."
The housekeeper was amazed to see these words, and the strange name and the warning that was making him nervous. He straight away ran from the corridor and took his refuge in his favorite two balconies. , for let me tell those who are reading my story that my housekeeper was a very coward person. Perhaps living so many years without seeing any one in an empty house made him a coward. He passed many days in his two balconies looking outside trying to forget what he has read, but the memory still remained in his thought . The housekeeper became haunted and sadder day by day. There was some thing in that room which was
making him restless.
So one day the housekeeper, gathered all his courage, and came near to the door of the room named Heart, and tried to open the lock, to look inside, but.... oh gosh he never thought of the key . There was a strange golden lock on the door, without a key hole. The housekeeper
smiled acceptingly and retured to his favorite two balconies, looking the dark mountains outside once again.
Time passed, 9 years were still left for the housekeeper to become 30. One day as he was cleaning the house, the door knocked. there was a little girl in front of the door looking happily confused. The girl told the housekeeper that she is his master's very close relative, and that she will pass some time in this house which belong to the master. The housekeeper accepted this little girl reluctantly on the condition that she will do no harm to the house and that she will keep the house clean. The girl just smiled, and entered the house as if it were her
own. she brought with here a lot of stories, a lot of her own imaginations and concepts of life. she was full of herself, and above all happy and contended. The housekeeper seemed to be accepting her as she was keeping the house clean , even helping the housekeeper in
cleaning the house, and besides there was someone the housekeeper can talk to . The housekeeper asked her about the world from where she came from , and inquired about the master of which the housekeeper was waiting his whole life, and the girl just smiled and milled and smiled. the housekeeper told her about the dark mountains and lakes and the sky and the moon , he had seen only from the balcony but never felt it or touched it. The girl had her own experiences of the world, of which she not only felt but touched and enjoyed as well.
Days passed, become months, and years, the girl became a young lady. The housekeeper never asked her to go , as she was the only one he had met for all his life. they became good friends. One day they were passing through the corridor, and out of no where they stopped in front of the only left locked room. The housekeeper told the girl about the tragedy of the lock. The girl out of curiosity hold the lock in her hand just to see, and ..... Khatak... ...The lock was opened.
As if attracted from everywhere, as if a vacuum started pulling him. There was a strange light coming out of the half open room... the housekeeper just ran from that place fearing of loosing himself,leaving the girl alone, to take refuge in his favorite balconies.
He met the girl after a long while, and the girl accepted him more then ever as if nothing had happened, but there was the same strange golden color in her eyes now, that made him frightened.Perhaps the girl did went to look whats inside the room. He found her often after that, wondering nearby the room. The girl tried to convince the housekeeper to go with her to that room.He himself tried three times to go nearby but the pulling force always made him ran away, making him frightened for months, making him take refuge in his two balconies.
And one day when he woke up , he saw bright morning light radiating from outside. Every thing was clear. He thought how the mountains looked beautiful in this light. He went to find the girl to share with her what he experienced, but she was not in the house. She was gone. He searched her everywhere , and lastly went to that room with the golden lock, in hope to find her there. The golden lock was not there, and the doors were open. The room was empty,only a piece of paper lying on the floor. It reads ,
"Dearest.. Perhaps your reasons are strong enough to stop you but I have to give this to the whole world, what i have taken from this room, what you never dared to accept. This love is overflowing from me now.
yours"
On the walls of the room a board was hanging which said
WHAT YOU ENTER , ENTERS YOU FROM WITHIN
WHAT YOU PULL , PULLS YOU FROM WITHIN
WHAT YOU MASTER, MASTERS YOU FROM WITHIN
WHAT YOU LEAVE, LEAVES YOU FROM WITHIN.
The housekeeper rushed towards the front door of the house but it was locked from outside. He rushed towards the balconies. As he stood in the balcony , he saw her going away. He tried to shout , but couldn't. There was a strange radiance spreading from her, shining the world more and more with every step of her. From the balcony of his eyes, he silently saw her dissolving into the whole world. She was gone , leaving the door locked from outside with the same golden lock.
Perhaps a long silent faithful suffering awaits him. Perhaps that's what he mastered and what mastered him in return. So readers hence the housekeeper became the master of the locked house. This is my house, where I lived for 26 years,where the morning shined once. knowing only recently that i was the master, where i have to live even after 30 years now, waiting for someone who can open the golden lock from outside. Thanks to the golden lock I am still alive. I have placed the same board on the gate of my house which read once.
Heart.
"The housekeeper cannot enter. ONLY FOR THE MASTER."
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Within.... Without
Written: 2000,PK
Once upon a time, long time ago, there was a princess called “Within”. She was called “within”, because she had all the beauty within her. Many Maharajahs and kings from the neighboring states and countries had proposed her, but she refused all. She wanted to live her whole life within, as she was aware of the beauty within her. One day when she was passing her time painting in the garden, she heard a voice of a man, asking for something. She saw a man, in dirty rags, having a beard as if unshaven for years, and dirt all over his body, asking for water. First she thought of him as some beggar, but there was some thing unusual in him, there was some thing strange about his eyes that she was unable to stare at it. Interested in the strangeness she asked the man, “who are you, and why you look so strange to me”. The man told her that he is a traveler, and his name is “Without”. He is traveling for so many years now that he do not know where he has come from, and he never thinks of where he is going. He told her about the lakes and meadows he had traveled. This was the first time for the princess that the person though admiring her beauty is not getting attracted towards her, he was standing near by, but he was wandering in the far regions of Himalayas and Sahara at the same time. She told him about her loneliness and how she enjoys her solitudes. He told her about the loneliness and solitudes he experienced in the mountains of Himalayas and in the bamboo forest of China. She told him about the painting and the songs she had made from her inner thoughts, and he told her about the songs of the Indian birds in the early spring, and the sound of the dessert. He told her about how the scenes in the mountains change instantly as u cross a valley. They passed many long hours enriching each other.
Both of them were thinking that there is some sort of connection between them, but they were unable to name it. What is it? Is the flow inwards or outwards? They were traveling in different directions but it seems that they were going towards the same destination.
After some time the traveler ask princess for departure. The princess was so much in love with the traveler that she wanted him to live within her heart and eyes forever, but the traveler’s dreams were so pure and captivating that, she was unable to show what she want. But nevertheless she told the traveler that whenever he find his destiny do return to me. After saying good bye the traveler left.
Many years passed. The princess painted paintings and created immortal love songs in the hope of that the traveler might come, she realized that as the time is passing her paintings and her songs are getting stronger and beautiful then before.
And the traveler saw that the mountain colors are getting stronger and purer day by day, the lakes loneliness is getting clearer and clearer, and he thought that at last he now know the thing without which his solitude has brighten up. And one day he died, and the princess died too.
In the court of the God, both of them were standing, thinking of there past lives. They asked God, that why u did all this, why you never made us unite. And God replied, “well, u know that I was never happy with my creation of earth. It was not what I dreamt it to be. And then I dream about you, and then I realized that, the more my real conditions are bad, the more my dreams and my fantasies flourish and brighten my inner self. You saw that the more u spend time away from each other, the more your dreams became beautiful and imaginative. You are the dream seen by me, and I enjoyed it more than I enjoyed creating this world and universe. And now that u have realized that I am also a dream seen by you, so tell me , u enjoyed the destiny or the way………the within or without …………………………….
Once upon a time, long time ago, there was a princess called “Within”. She was called “within”, because she had all the beauty within her. Many Maharajahs and kings from the neighboring states and countries had proposed her, but she refused all. She wanted to live her whole life within, as she was aware of the beauty within her. One day when she was passing her time painting in the garden, she heard a voice of a man, asking for something. She saw a man, in dirty rags, having a beard as if unshaven for years, and dirt all over his body, asking for water. First she thought of him as some beggar, but there was some thing unusual in him, there was some thing strange about his eyes that she was unable to stare at it. Interested in the strangeness she asked the man, “who are you, and why you look so strange to me”. The man told her that he is a traveler, and his name is “Without”. He is traveling for so many years now that he do not know where he has come from, and he never thinks of where he is going. He told her about the lakes and meadows he had traveled. This was the first time for the princess that the person though admiring her beauty is not getting attracted towards her, he was standing near by, but he was wandering in the far regions of Himalayas and Sahara at the same time. She told him about her loneliness and how she enjoys her solitudes. He told her about the loneliness and solitudes he experienced in the mountains of Himalayas and in the bamboo forest of China. She told him about the painting and the songs she had made from her inner thoughts, and he told her about the songs of the Indian birds in the early spring, and the sound of the dessert. He told her about how the scenes in the mountains change instantly as u cross a valley. They passed many long hours enriching each other.
Both of them were thinking that there is some sort of connection between them, but they were unable to name it. What is it? Is the flow inwards or outwards? They were traveling in different directions but it seems that they were going towards the same destination.
After some time the traveler ask princess for departure. The princess was so much in love with the traveler that she wanted him to live within her heart and eyes forever, but the traveler’s dreams were so pure and captivating that, she was unable to show what she want. But nevertheless she told the traveler that whenever he find his destiny do return to me. After saying good bye the traveler left.
Many years passed. The princess painted paintings and created immortal love songs in the hope of that the traveler might come, she realized that as the time is passing her paintings and her songs are getting stronger and beautiful then before.
And the traveler saw that the mountain colors are getting stronger and purer day by day, the lakes loneliness is getting clearer and clearer, and he thought that at last he now know the thing without which his solitude has brighten up. And one day he died, and the princess died too.
In the court of the God, both of them were standing, thinking of there past lives. They asked God, that why u did all this, why you never made us unite. And God replied, “well, u know that I was never happy with my creation of earth. It was not what I dreamt it to be. And then I dream about you, and then I realized that, the more my real conditions are bad, the more my dreams and my fantasies flourish and brighten my inner self. You saw that the more u spend time away from each other, the more your dreams became beautiful and imaginative. You are the dream seen by me, and I enjoyed it more than I enjoyed creating this world and universe. And now that u have realized that I am also a dream seen by you, so tell me , u enjoyed the destiny or the way………the within or without …………………………….
A walk with Myself
Last night i had a walk with 'Myself'. i didnt knew , whether i was pushing 'Myself' or 'Myself' was pulling me along these busy crowdy roads of city.....'Myself' offered me a cigarette, and we two started smoking. I was treading along the streets with no intension to go anywheer . 'Myself' was reading to me the faces of the passerby persons, i saw selfs alone or a few carrying the corpse of themselves. Most of the selves were so preoccupied with their 'stomach thoughts' as if afflicted by the heavy doze of self love.
I saw 'Myself' hitting a stone, and i thought how much this little stone, this little identity, this little existence might have traveled during the course of centuries, may be one of the sweat dipped stone from pyramids, or may have come out of Mount fiji, this stone, was more more history for me then the one i read in books. And the stone was still on his way to a destination , may be uncertain for a single man, but certainly determined for the humanity , contributing in its journey... .......
.......Just to change the topic, i ask 'Myself' , if he can buy e another cigerette, and after a minute, the two of us were once again smoking. , making the rings of hollow hopes, and lucid imaginations....WE two started to walk again....the hustle bustle around us was as ussual. phenomenas were performing there roles perfectly moving in there defined circles, same old beggars beggin in th same streets, same old lurid shops, same old streets running in order to keep the trafic running.....The moon was as ussual silently seeing the realms of hope and miseries, fear and submission, 'stomch thoughts' and 'selves' without within, and 'Myself' asked what what this silly little object can do, who was , who has no control over his own beauty, who is unable to unleash his art, the art felt by centuries of humans, who might be speaking silence to the melliniums to come. ......My thoughts returned to me when 'Myself' noticed a blind man with a white stick, begging in empty streets..... and i thought how we have been made slave of our own dimensions... 'Myself' closed my eyez just to let me feel for a step or two,, how this blind man may be feeling, and i openned my eyez in haste, fearing of where i would hit 'Myself'. In an instant the whole darwinian evolution passed infront of me, like a movie picture, I experienced , what the little amoebas might have felt,what agony they might have experienced, in the passing past,................ and the already lived future was smiling devilishly on me and ........i was thinking, if 'Myself' can leave me alone, for I was too tired of walking on the streets of nothingness............but i knew, there is no one to blame for this then...'Myself'.
I saw 'Myself' hitting a stone, and i thought how much this little stone, this little identity, this little existence might have traveled during the course of centuries, may be one of the sweat dipped stone from pyramids, or may have come out of Mount fiji, this stone, was more more history for me then the one i read in books. And the stone was still on his way to a destination , may be uncertain for a single man, but certainly determined for the humanity , contributing in its journey... .......
.......Just to change the topic, i ask 'Myself' , if he can buy e another cigerette, and after a minute, the two of us were once again smoking. , making the rings of hollow hopes, and lucid imaginations....WE two started to walk again....the hustle bustle around us was as ussual. phenomenas were performing there roles perfectly moving in there defined circles, same old beggars beggin in th same streets, same old lurid shops, same old streets running in order to keep the trafic running.....The moon was as ussual silently seeing the realms of hope and miseries, fear and submission, 'stomch thoughts' and 'selves' without within, and 'Myself' asked what what this silly little object can do, who was , who has no control over his own beauty, who is unable to unleash his art, the art felt by centuries of humans, who might be speaking silence to the melliniums to come. ......My thoughts returned to me when 'Myself' noticed a blind man with a white stick, begging in empty streets..... and i thought how we have been made slave of our own dimensions... 'Myself' closed my eyez just to let me feel for a step or two,, how this blind man may be feeling, and i openned my eyez in haste, fearing of where i would hit 'Myself'. In an instant the whole darwinian evolution passed infront of me, like a movie picture, I experienced , what the little amoebas might have felt,what agony they might have experienced, in the passing past,................ and the already lived future was smiling devilishly on me and ........i was thinking, if 'Myself' can leave me alone, for I was too tired of walking on the streets of nothingness............but i knew, there is no one to blame for this then...'Myself'.
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